Traveling through the grief process is different for everyone. Family, friends, therapy, support groups, exercise, meditation and medication can be helpful.
Some ways of coping can be harmful, like overeating or drinking too much.
Many people turn to faith for support. We pray and ask why this had to happen. We try to make sense of it. And we wonder where our loved ones are.
We start to see or feel signs that our loved ones are still with us. My cousin finds dimes in odd places. My mom used to find golf balls in unlikely spots. Blue Jay birds visit me.
My path on this journey led me to read books about life after death. It started with books where people described dying and then coming back. They saw a light. Some claim to have experienced seeing the room where they died before coming back.
Reading books written by psychic mediums continues to intrigue me. I watch the T.V. shows called “The Long Island Medium” and “Monica the Medium”. I was hooked and wanted to hear as many stories as I could.
One day a friend told me she had visited a psychic medium and during the reading, my husband Mike came through and told her some information about the night he died.
A few weeks later my cousin went to this same medium. The medium didn’t know that the 2 women knew each other, and Mike visited her as well and told her similar information about the night he died.
You can only imagine that now I needed to go too. If he is talking to everyone, he should talk to me too!
I asked a good friend if she was interested in having a reading with me. She had been to psychics in the past, but never a medium.
There is a difference between a psychic and a medium. All mediums are also psychic, but not all psychics are mediums. People visit a psychic for guidance on a situation or on their future. People visit mediums to connect with dead loved ones.
We made an appointment over the phone. Two days after Halloween, we drove across Long Island to this woman’s house. She only knew our first names and asked that we not tell her anything else. She wantrf to ensure this was a cold reading.
Our psychic invited us into her home filled with Fall decor. My friend waited on the couch, while I sat with her at the kitchen table. She gave me a brief overview of her psychic abilities and how she connects with the spiritual world.
My first reading lasted about one hour and took place 2 months after Mike passed. I felt she was able to give me some information that only he would know.
She described my bedroom: the chair, the vase with sunflowers and the color of the walls.
She asked who Harry was? When I told her he is my dog, she said, “he sees Mike, but you knew that.” Which was weird, because I had sensed that Harry had noticed something different in my bedroom.
She said Mike loved me and called me Babe. Yes he did.
Then she asked why does my husband stands across the street from my house. I was shocked. That is where he died.
The messages she told me were comforting and she did not tell me anything bad. Most mediums tell you that they will not reveal any upsetting information and want to use their gifts to give support to others.
As I was reading books about the afterlife written by different people, I began to notice a group referred to as the Forever Family Foundation. They have a website and many resources available for grieving people. In fact, they offer a weekend retreat in Connecticut every summer so last year I signed up to go all by myself.
When I arrived I was first surprised at the number of men at the retreat. I had expected this to be filled with older widows but I was wrong! It turns out that people who are hurting even more than women who lose their spouse, are couples who lose a child. Some people had children who had overdosed on heroin or committed suicide. Everyone was hurting – a lot.
The retreat included all meals and the 50 of us stayed on the property. The first evening, we had a speaker and a wine and cheese hour. We also did some meditation and the 3 mediums were introduced and gave a few readings to the large group.
The next morning, we had breakfast, a morning mediation and then broke up into small groups with about 12 mourners in each group and 1 medium. The medium spoke to the group and encouraged us to find ways to communicate with our loved ones who have passed by recognizing signs; birds, butterflies, numbers, coins, etc.
Next, the medium began to share messages through spirit that resonated with someone in the group. He went around the room giving messages that he was receiving and people would make the connection that the message was for them based on information that was validated.
After the session, we enjoyed lunch outside on the deck surrounded by a lush green forest. That afternoon we experienced a Tibetan singing bowls performance. It was beautiful and meditative.
We then broke up into small groups again, with the same 12 people, and met with a different medium. Again, messages were shared. Not all the people in the group were read, but we started to get to know each other and it was uncanny how the different mediums would get similar messages during each session.
Saturday night after dinner, we quietly walked an outdoor labyrinth in a clearing of the forest. Then we sat together around a bonfire. Some of us stayed up talking into the later hours of the evening and bonding over a few glasses of wine.
Sunday started with more meditation, a Reiki activity and another speaker before the final break out session. I was glad to have gone on this trip. I met some lovely people who were all experiencing this intense loss and wondering how to go on living. Overall the feeling was that we had all experienced a new level of comfort that our loved ones are O.K. and they want the best for us.
The Forever Family Foundation has a list of certified mediums who have had their abilities evaluated under controlled conditions. I spoke to several people who had readings over the phone and had positive experiences so of course, a few months later I tried that as well. I spoke to one of the listed certified mediums one evening for close to 90 minutes. She was able to give me some insight but honestly it was a bit expensive.
This past weekend I invited one of the certified psychic mediums (Joe Perreta) who I met at the Connecticut retreat last summer to come to my house. He did a group reading for 10 close family and friends. I knew that he had said some things to me last summer that were amazingly spot on and I was hopeful that he could give a good reading and hopefully comfort to my friends as well.
We were not disappointed.
He stayed for 3 hours and each person had a 15-20 minute reading. We sat in a large circle and he turned and spoke to everyone. Each person experienced a spirit connection that was meant for that person. It was not something that you could just say to any one of us.
Tears were shed, but it was more because it was hard to believe he would know something that was so true to us.
We had some laughs as well. After Joe left, we ordered in Chinese food and rehashed all that was said. I also recorded the whole thing on my phone’s voice recorder. I listened to it again the next morning, so I could break it up into audio sections for each person.
Joe Perreta told one woman in the group that she seemed very intuitive and with practice could possibly build her psychic gifts. He said we all have them, it’s just not something that we have easy access to, but with practice we could all be more intuitive.
In the meantime, I will keep looking for blue jays in the neighborhood that Mike sends me. I will continue to talk to him and ask for guidance.
Read more about the signs I have experienced check out my book NO SIMPLE HIGHWAY: A widow’s journey to seek justice for her husband’s death is available on Amazon
37 Responses
I believe in eternal life through the sacrifice of God,s son Jesus ,and the gift of the Holy Spirit who will be with us always to give us peace and comfort during times of trial, where I have. Felt it through sickness and healing, through grief , never thinking I will know joy again…but I have in so many ways…through my children, their families, the hugs of grandchildren, family, friends, New love, sunny mornings and through Spring flowers once again daring to peek their heads through once cold frozen ground and so, new life begins again. This is the road I travelled, may you find joy on your road.
Beautifully said Addie – so happy to follow in your footsteps on this path of life.
This was great. I connected with James Van Praugh 1.5 years after my sister died and it helped so much with healing. Blessings to you. Everyone should do this! xx
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. Thank you so much for your comment.
I have had two private readings and a group reading, and they have given me the feeling of connecting with my husband like nothing else could. I believe they are real and some people are born with the gift. I would highly recommend Anna Raimondi and Roland Comtois.
Thank you for commenting. I agree. Once you have had a good reading, it is hard to not believe.
Would definitely give the two books a try. Really appreciate you sharing your experience.
Thanks for reading.
A great post xx….I read Allison Dubai’s books on the afterlife who the show Medium was based on. I have also had a couple of readings. We all have the ability to “speak” to the other side, only some of us actually do.
I don’t know about her. I will have to check that out. Thanks.
Great post. It’s a unique experience and I’m glad you shared something that helped you!
Thanks for reading.
I have seen an energy reader and it was spot on – she mentioned things my Grandmother used to say to me and my sister. There is no way on Earth she would have known any of those things… I believe in mediums, too. This was a great read.
Thank you. It is amazing.
Kristin, keep looking for the signs, keep talking to your beloved. Death takes our loved ones from this earth but not from existence, our hearts or minds. I do believe we can continue to connect and there are messages sent to us all the time, if only we know to look. I enjoyed your post very much.
Thank you for your positive feedback.
This is a great post. I too believe in the afterlife and have spoken to those who crossed over myself. It a touchy topic because not everyone feels the same but I am glad you are living in your truth regardless. Also, I loovveee Long Island Medium. I didn’t know she had a book!
Thanks – her book is a fun light read and full of good stories!
I have been thinking about seeing a medium but I’m find it intimidating. I”m afraid to be told my deceased husband isn’t happy or doesn’t agree with choices I’ve made since his death.
It is totally normal to feel apprehensive. Maybe have a close friend go with you, and sit outside so you have that support – but I have found it is usually a good experience.
Wow that’s amazing! I have always been intrigued by this sort of thing. It can be scary but comforting at the same time. Glad you were able to get some comfort from it!
It is amazing if you get a good person.
I’m so sorry for your loss Kristin. I totally believe in mediums, the after-life, that our loved ones are here with us just in another dimension. I think you might enjoy listening to Esther Hicks (Abraham Hicks) she has many videos on YouTube. She goes into a meditative state and then channels “Abraham” who is really infinite intelligence and speaks of many things. Her husband past away a few years ago and he comes as a bird and visits her too. She tells of funny stories about this bird, but she can also speak with him when she’s happy and meditating he is able to communicate with her. It’s quite fascinating. I wish you much joy and peace as you navigate through this challenging time. xo
Thanks for the feedback. I will definitely look into Esther Hicks.
I hope you enjoy her. 🙂
Wow! This was a really fascinating read. I’ve always wandered about Mediums and Psychics, etc. I’ve never 100% believed, but I’ve never NOT believed either. As a child I used to watch a show that was about a Pet-Psychic and another one, a pet-medium. I had recently lost a cat, so these really spoke to me then and I used to wander what my cat might tell me, etc. As I grew older and lost more (human) loved ones, I drifted from the idea of such sources. The thought just never occurred to me. But this really is SO fascinating, and hearing your account really makes me interested in trying this if god forbid I deal with that kind of tragedy that needs healing. Obviously, this is only one aspect of your healing process. I’m curious– did you happen to see any negatives from doing it? The only thing I would worry about (knowing myself and my tendencies) is that once I had a connection, I’d constantly want more, you know? I’d be tempted to “check in” regularly, and maybe I wouldn’t be able to move further forward. What has been your experience in that respect?
Again, this is truly fascinating. I loved reading too about how they employed the use of meditation and witnessing/noticing “signs.” I’m very perceptive in my life and intuitive, weaving meaning and patterns from symbols, signs, etc. It’s nice to hear its not all just in my head but there is reasoning behind it in actual metaphysical philosophies/studies. Thank you for this post!!
Great feedback thank you. I did get a little hooked on the idea of having more “visits” with my husband through a medium and I have indulged a few times. But I also feel like I can speak to him all the time and when i see a blue jay (almost daily) I say hi.
It’s incredibly hard to lose someone we love, and I’m truly sorry for your loss. As a medium I find grief can alter beliefs, create believers. For each of us it is a journey, a lesson, and only we know how to soothe ourselves. I am very happy you found some peace and know that each of us has ‘a team’ or very own spirit team, that are working behind the scenes to help us get through this life. They really just want what’s best for us and to let you know they are there, around you, each and every day. Sending you love and light
Thank you so much.
I am really so sorry for your loss dear. I will like to check out the books you mentioned.
Thank you for reading and your kind comment. I hope you like the books.